Life is as beautiful as you want it to be.
The way you live your life defines what the future holds for you. However, one thing that can massively impact your inner peace and whatever the goals you have planned is FEAR.
Yes, you heard that right.
We all have fears. Some of us are open to talk about it, while others keep it as a secret. In either way, it makes you suffer. And most importantly, your fear can turn out to be your biggest barrier if you are not taking the necessary steps to overcome it.
It is where FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY can act as your guide – a book that can help you understand your fear and sheds light on certain techniques and tools to conquer it and live your life fully.
The book is written by a famous author Susan Jeffers, who happened to be a great writer of her time. Apart from writing, she was also popular as a conference speaker who was well known for being able to talk to everyone.
So, without further ado, let’s get right into what Jeffers has revealed in her book FEEL THE FEAT AND DO IT ANYWAY.
What Are You Afraid Of?
First of all, you should understand that you are not alone in being afraid. It affects everyone, young, old, men, women, regardless of your social standing. We all have to face our fear regularly in different situations. But if you wish to conquer your fear, you need to understand it first.
To do that, Jeffers helps us to make sense of our fear by breaking it down into three levels.
Level 1: The fear that most of us have, like ageing, death, losing a loved one, etc.
Level 2: This level is more about our inner self: the fear of failure, exclusion, underestimation of oneself, etc. These fears can have a serious impact on how our lives will guide us in the future.
Level 3: This last level is all about a lack of confidence and how you are not being able to cope.
Fear Does Not Go Away
It actually feels good to know that everyone has fear, even the most successful person in the world. Let’s take the example of Mark Zuckerberg. Mark runs a public company FACEBOOK with a market cap of more than $594.23 billion. He has got more than 44,000 employees and over 2.6 billion users visit his site each month.
There is a lot at stack when Mark shows up to work every day. However, there is one thing he is more afraid of than screwing his business. You know what’s that? Missing out on the opportunity he has to change the world.
“I have more fear in my life that we are not going to maximize the opportunity that we have than that we mess something up and the business goes badly,” Zuckerberg says
What do we learn from it?
Whatever you decide and do in your life, you will always have to face fear. In fact, even a slight change can create a lot of anxiety, stress, and a fear of failure.
Therefore, the best thing you can do is to completely change the way you think because we have developed senses that ultimately take us into a sense of failure. And the only way to deal with it is to surpass oneself, as this is how you can achieve self-confidence.
From Suffering to Power
Jeffers tells us that in order to overcome fear, we need to change our mindset from pain to power, because when you are stuck in the position of pain, you feel depressed, helpless, and eventually fail to take any action.
On the other hand, when you shift your mentality to power, you feel like you have way, which makes you feel excited and encourage you to take action.
Walt Disney is a great example of it. Disney’s life story envisions no traces of free passes. His career began with a newspaper, fired by them for not being creative enough, and ended up as a legendary filmmaker. It all didn’t come easily as Disney had to suffer a lot. But he didn’t give up on the fear of losing and achieved what was meant for him.
So, how we can switch from pain to power?
Jeffers has suggested two techniques to do that:
First, Switch from Pain to Power Vocabulary:
That’s true. When you are in pain, your vocabulary will consist of words like I can’t, I shouldn’t, it’s not my fault, it’s a big problem, I hope, it’s terrible, etc. But right when you shift to power mindset, your vocabulary will evolve to I can, I should, I will, I know, it’s an opportunity, etc.
Second, Expand Your Comfort Zone Each Day:
You must try to do something each day that makes you uncomfortable. For example, if you fear talking to people, then participate in public speaking programs, talk to people you don’t even know, or if you fear to express yourself, then talk to your family, share your feelings and how much you care for them, etc.
Just do something that brings you out of your comfort zone.
When you reclaim your power, it becomes easier for you to take responsibility. Jeffers says that we are responsible for our actions, emotions, feelings, and how we perceive everything. So, there is no point in blaming external environment or anyone if you are having a bad mood, or going through some bad feelings about life.
How many times have you heard people saying to you DON’T BE POLLYANNA? How many times did people try to put you down by saying that you sound unrealistic when you were trying to show the brighter side of things?
Jeffers shares her personal experience while she was having dinner with her friend. She was trying her best to make her friend see the brighter side of something, which she was viewing as negative. While Jeffers was explaining this, her friend suddenly told her that you are beginning to sound like Pollyanna. To which Jeffers replied, “what’s bad about being Pollyanna?” What’s wrong with feeling good about life even things are not working out your way?
Jeffers says that positive thinking is one of the most difficult concepts to explain to anyone. When she used to present her ideas on positive thinking in her workshops, many of her students found it to be unrealistic. And when she asked them about what makes negative thinking more realistic, they had no answer.
According to a report, 90% of what we worry about never happens. It certainly means that our negative worries have less than a 10% chance of being correct. If this is so, then isn’t it good to find positive in every situation?
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